The Importance of Knocking
by Evil Demon Warrior Bunny
Summary: Ed learns the hard way why we should not barge into rooms unannounced. Royai, with cameos by Ed, Al, and Greed. Twoshot to-be.


Hello all! My second fanfic, thank you very much. It'll probably end up being a twoshot, so here's the first part. This is supposed to be written like it's a chapter of the manga, with panels n' stuff. Like Honey n' Oats! Yeah, okay, ignore me.

It's set sometime after Greed and Ed team up, but before the group defects. Chapter Early Eighties, I guess. Or Late Seventies? I sound like I'm talking about music or fashion eras. Whatever. I realize it's a little choppy, but it's meant to be written that way. Enjoy!

Scene: Central. A train station. The train has just gotten in. We see the smoke clear. Behind it, standing with their backs to the train as if they've just gotten off, are ED, AL, and GREED.

Close-up on: ED. ED looks pissed. ED looks like he wants to take one of WINRY's wrenches and shove it down someone's throat.

AL: Sweatdrop.

Cut to: GREED, who looks bored. He's standing off to the side, staring off into space with his hands in his pockets.

Random close-up on the luggage. This is to reinforce the point that ED, AL, and GREED have just exited the train.

ED opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted when the train roars past, filling his mouth with smoke. His hair blows sideways, and he dissolves into a coughing fit.

Next panel: He's still coughing.

Next panel: Cough cough. GREED looks _really_ bored.

Cricket. Cricket.

ED: (_weakly_) Where is he?

AL: Where is who, brother?

ED: (_glaring, as though he can't believe the stupidity of all people not him._) The *_censored* _Colonel! He was supposed to meet us! Right here! Right now!

ED waved his arms up and down to emphasize. No one looks very impressed. People off to the side give him weird looks.

GREED: He probably forgot. (_He doesn't look as though he really cares.)_

ED looks as though he might explode. AL quickly steps in.

AL: Well, if he forgot, we can just go meet him at Headquarters.

ED doesn't seem to like this situation much. We can see by the way his eyes go black and his hair starts steaming. Now people off to the side are purposely avoiding being close to him.

AL: Brother, please calm down. People are staring.

ED: Fine. Let's go.

AL breathes a sigh of relief.

Scene: Central Headquarters. We see a couple of MILITARY OFFICERS looking startled, then dodging to the side as a furious looking ED storms by them.

RANDOM MILITARY PERSON #1: Who was _that_?

RANDOM MILITARY PERSON #2: Dunno. A little whirlwind.

ED skids to a halt.

ED: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO TINY HE COULD BE PICKED UP BY A SUMMER BREEZE AND BLOWN ALL THE WAY TO XING?!? HUH? _HUH?!?_

The RANDOM MILITARY PEOPLE cower in a corner. AL drags a screaming ED down the corridor, with GREED sort of trailing behind. He's laughing.

ED stops in front of one door, yanks it open, opens his mouth to yell, and—

Cut to: ED staring.

Repeat previous panel, except now AL and GREED are in on it. Their expressions pretty much mirror ED's. Their mouths hang open. A nearby fly lands in AL's, who doesn't notice.

We finally see what it is in the room that is making our three heroes stare so intently that they don't notice when insects land in their mouths. It is a Kiss. A Kiss of Overwhelming Passion. The COUPLE is in the center of the panel, taking up the entire space. They are surrounded by stars, hearts, and sparkles of the type that have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations.

The participants in this Kiss are one ROY MUSTANG and an as-yet-unnamed BLONDE in glasses and a trench coat. The camera (or page) pans out a bit to reveal that the two are standing, clutching each other in the center of the room. No one else is there. No one, that it, except the three onlookers that have just wrenched open the door without knocking.

The COUPLE kisses for a few more panels, when suddenly they seem to become aware of their little audience. They stare, still clasped in each other's arms, looking for all the world like the cover of a cheap romance novel. The type that GREED has never, ever read. Not even when he was stuck alone in a basement for decades. Oh no. Definitely not.

Cut to: ED staring.

Cut to: The COUPLE staring.

Repeat as necessary.

Finally, ED breaks out of his trance.

ED: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU _DOING?_ (_He waves his arms up and down again._)

Next panel: ED: You were supposed to come meet us! Not hang around making out with some blonde bimbo in your little _office-thing_! (_EVERYONE ELSE_ _looks confused for a moment.) _WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?

Next panel: ED continues yelling obscenities not fit for print.

He looks at the COUPLE.

He stops yelling.

ED continues to wave his arms without making sound. His face shows the beginnings of a sort of resigned dread. In the background, chibi AL sweatdrops.

Close-up on the WOMAN. She disentangles her arm from around ROY and raises a hand to her face.

WOMAN: (_sliding glasses down her nose and looking at ED over the top of them)_ Hello, Edward.

ED blinks. ED stares. ED's face starts to sweat bigtime. If this weren't in black and white, ED would pale considerably.

ED: (_in a small voice_) Um, hello, Lieutenant Hawkeye.

The WOMAN, now revealed to be none other than FIRST LIEUTENANT RIZA HAWKEYE, smiles dangerously. ED looks like there's nothing he'd rather do than crawl into a hole and die there.

AL: (_in a transparent attempt to rescue his brother from both utter embarrassment and total annihilation_) Um, um, and how are you both this evening?

EVERYONE stares at AL. He seems to shrink into himself. If he wasn't made of metal, he would be been blushing like a schoolgirl.

RIZA pulls herself fully out of ROY's embrace. He lets go rather reluctantly, resting his lips against her forehead a minute. She caresses his cheek with the back of her hand. GREED looks like he's trying not to throw up.

AL: (_diplomatically_) Maybe we should, um, come back another time. You know, when you guys aren't busy. I mean, when you're not in the middle of something. I mean—um, yeah. (_What starts out as a tactful exit ends with AL gibbering like an idiot. You really have to feel sorry for the guy._)

ROY steps forward.

ROY: Did you want something, Fullmetal?

ED, who has lost his voice since reveling the identity of ROY's kissee, suddenly regains the ability to speak.

ED: Yeah I want something! We had a meeting! Where were you?

ROY glances over his shoulder at RIZA, who is straightening her coat.

ROY: I was…_busy_.

ED blushes.

End of chapter.

There ya go! No, I don't really know why Greed was there. I needed someone to stand in the background and look bored. He seemed to fit the profile. I'll post the second part whenever I get around to writing it. And I don't have a definite plotline for it, so any help would be appreciated. If you do have an idea, tell me in a _review_. Oh now, there's an idea! Anonymous reviews are lovely, as are the normal kind. Thanks for reading!

~ Bunny


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